Sorry, can’t think of any other title than that,lol. It actually just hit me when I was thinking on what to post for today. This blog is more personal than my mommy blog, so just lend me your ears 🙂
Yep, I think I’m fat and so does my husband and my friends and every old friend who sees me every now and then and this is unexpectedly turning into a rant waah.. Can you blame me? My head title is “chic momma” and here i am starting to feel sad coz well, I’m fat!
I weigh… hmmm better you don’t know the exact numbers hahaha.. I’m actually lighter and thinner than 5 or 2 years ago. 5 eons ago, I was on my heaviest at 180lbs and I’m 5’5″ in height. So, imagine a “dumbo” walking in the mall with heavy loads, both body fats and body fats, grrr.. I had the courage to face the camera and saved those few photos taken when i was oh so huge simply because i want to remember those ugly years and to force myself not to eat too much or suffer the same embarrassments.
I’m not over-reacting, I’m pissed but I can still laugh coz at least i lost a few pounds after that and just lately after a week long flu, I lost another 4lbs. I’m supposed to be happy, right? Well, I’m not coz the body weight for my height is max 135lbs so you can guess how much bigger I am, huhuhu.
It’s not that my hubby doesn’t wanna hug me coz I’m fat, it’s a personal thing for me. I was used to weighing only 95lbs when i was young-er (lol) but of course this is what usually happens after giving birth via CS and after eating tons of pastries and not a budge to exercise. I’m blaming myself for allowing this to happen and the thing is, I like to eat and it’s really hard to stop!
I’m fat and I don’t really like what I’m seeing in the mirror. Jeans, shorts and even undies are slowly reaching their stretch limits (waaah), blouses and t-shirts are getting more loose each time I buy a new wardrobe, it’s killing me! Yeah, it’s easy to say, “then don’t eat” or “go on a diet” or “drink diet pills”. I’m diabetic, so not eating and diet pills would make death come much faster (lol). As for dieting, I’m on it but not really following any diet plans or something, just lessened the portions I used to eat more so on carbs. I’m eating cereals and wheat bread for breakfast and believe me, I’m not happy coz it tastes bland but I can’t do anything coz it’s quite effective for me.
I already lost more than 40 pounds thru the years and I wanna keep on losing til I reach the desired weight which is 135lbs or lesser. I wanna look in the mirror someday and see a sexy chic momma with curves and all hehehe.. I just hope that before I reach 45, I’m back to my old curvy shape 🙂 Thanks for listening 🙂